Chapter One: The Stud Muffin is Born
(View pans to hospital bed)
Chris' Mom: *grunting*
Various Medical Personnel: Push, push, push!
Chris' Mom: AHH!
Doctor: It's a boy but it seems something is wrong; It seems his penis is bigger than mine.
Chris' Mom: But your chinese silly; even my penis is bigger than yours and I'm a woman!
Doctor: I forgot, what are you going to name him?
Chris' Mom: Christopher Stud Muffin Langguth
Baby Chris: That's Me!
(Show Opening Screen)
Chris Langguth as Christopher Stud Muffin Langguth
Tyler Treese as The loyal sidekick who has never had a girlfriend
Some chick as Hannah Wineland
Adam Smith as The dude who uses funny one-liners
(Cut to C.W. Longer Elementary School)
Chris Narrating: It was my first day in C.W. Longer Elementary and I knew it meant one thing: New Ladies to wow. I met my two fellow struggling pimps Tyler Treese and Adam Smith. Now Adam had the hots for a girl named Sarah and asked her out everyday during recess.
(Shows Adam at the swingsets)
Adam: Hey; I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bedrock!
Sarah: No.
(Cuts to Adam talking to Chris and TT)
Adam: I really thought I had a chance this time; That line was genius.
Chris: Well you have to be smooth like I am; Watch this.
(Chris walks over to a table full of women he sets his eyes on a girl named Hannah Wineland)
Chris: Hey foxy momma, how about you and me go back to my place; I have my own teeter totter and I could teeter your totter if you know what I mean.
Hannah: Yes; umm I'll see you around at recess; bye, wait what is your name?
Chris: You can call me Sex Master or Chris.
Chapter Two: Songs and Sluts
(Camera cuts to TT and Chris talking in the halls)
TT: Wow your amazing; how do you do that?
Chris: See TT when I was born, I was the chosen one.
TT: Chosen to do what?
Chris: To get laid, for I am the HIGHLANDER!
TT: Wrong Movie
Chris: Sorry; For I am the Stud Muffin!
TT: That's more like it.
Chris: Well, Adam and TT; it's quite easy. How about I teach you in a song.
TT: Okay!
Chris: Will you two join me in a capella?
Adam and TT: Yes!
Chris, TT, and Adam: *Singing A Capella* Well, first ya gotta say; "Hey Baby, how was your day?", act like you care and then in less than a year! You'll be in her pants. Oh thats the game plan; and if you stick to it, you'll stick it to her; oh!
TT: Wow! Thanks Chris! Now we can get chicks.
Chris: Your welcome; I'm blessed
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